Preparing for RAGBRAI 2009

I was surfing the RAGBRAI website this morning and had to share this. While some of these may seem weird - they are not far from the truth! I placed an asterisk by the ones that I actually or very nearly experienced...

SYMPTOMS OF RRR SYNDROME (RECENT RAGBRAI RIDER)Submitted by Drew Clark of Erie, Colorado

-On the drive home from RAGBRAI, you stop to eat pie in every town you pass through.
-You install cleats on the gas pedal and brake pedal in your car.
*While driving your car, you shout out "on your left" when you move into the passing lane.
-Instead of carpooling, you and your buddies form an automobile paceline to get to work.
*A chainwheel tattoo on your calf seems normal.
-You still wear your RAGBRAI wristband and ask for the RAGBRAI discount at your local grocery store.
*You call the family to dinner with Mr. Pork Chop's famous holler.
-You get thrown out of your favorite restaurant for eating a pork chop like you did on RAGBRAI. *You can't stop eating 5,000 calories a day.
-Every time you travel to the east side of Iowa, you drive your car into the Mississippi River.
-You wake up wondering if you have enough time to make it to the luggage truck.
-When you drive by local churches, you wonder what's on the dinner menu.
-You like the team buses so much you paint your family minivan with the color scheme for Team Butt Ice.
-Your favorite T-shirt says: "IOWA. Hey! What's that smell?"
*Pie for breakfast, lunch, and dinner seems like a good idea.
-You have a seamstress install rear pockets on your business suits.
*You apply Bag Balm and Chamois Butt'r before going to work.
*One dollar for a half slice of watermelon seems OK to you.
-You still ride your bike in the center of the lane and can't understand why motorists are honking.

*Every time you see a kybo (that's a porta-potty, for you outsiders) without a waiting line, you stop.
-Your neighbors don't quite accept you using the one row of corn in their garden for a bathroom.
*You pay $200 more for a handlebar that saves 10 grams of weight, then attach a two pound rubber ducky to it.
*You can't get used to wearing underwear again.
-As soon as you leave work, you go looking for your campsite/host lodging.
*You drive around rumble strips, even in your car.
***When people mention the state of Iowa, you smile inside.